In my darkest hours

If there is one good thing I learnt in therapy, that is how to express my darkest thoughts through my works and not let disappointment, furry, frustration (and others) turn me into a nuke.

I was tested today… as soon as arrived in the university studio, my laptop and projector somehow fell off the table and the gates of hell opened wide (the laptop is more affected). I tried to calm down, but I was so irritated, I could not even stand hearing my colleagues.

The still life we had to draw a study from did not appeal to me however, so I just stared blankly at my board for a while. At some point I realized my own body cast two shadows on the board and started doodling inside the shapes. I was soon disconnected from my dark, dark thoughts and even became satisfied with the final result.

Art is therapy! This is a self-portrait, by the way!

The most important lesson for me is that I realized I could (and each of us can) express negative emotions in a peaceful, harmless way. If you can find that something that takes over your mind and acts like a filter to everything you do, stick to it!

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Portraits

My most recent posts were focused on portraits, so I will complete this with a brief presentation of my other representative portraits and their stories (every single one has a story).Delphic Sibyll

This is a tribute to Michelangelo’s  Delphic Sybil – graphite on paper, 2007 or so – little larger than a PostIt. I was in a stage where study was my main concern and I used all my free time, and there wasn’t much free time by then, to improve my drawing skills and sense of proportions (did this one at the office, on a break).

Ana

A portrait of a very beautiful girl I met in high school, Ana – A4 graphite on paper, done in 2005-2006. She was great in photography and I remember her as being very joyful and energetic.

Albert

Albert – A3 graphite on paper, 2007 – this counts for one of the most detailed portraits I’ve ever made (see how I actually worked on every bit of detail on his shirt and vest – insane!!!). He was (is!) the son of a former boss.

Arghezi

Tudor Arghezi – A4 graphite on paper, 2007 – he was and still is one of my favourite Romanian poets, a national equivalent to Charles Baudelaire.

Anio

Andrei – A3 graphite on paper, started in late 2008, finished in 2013 – another very detailed drawing I chose to leave ‘unfinished’ precisely due to the fact it might have been considered a photo (and that I could not bare!). He was – probably still is – a genius in maths and this one was named ‘A beautiful mind’.Seth

Seth (not his real name) – A3 ink on paper – this is the brother of a highschool colleague, I  especially appreciated the pose and of course, the guitar.

Untitled – aprox A3 markers and ink on wood panel.

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Mixed media experiment – A3 watercolors and inks on wood panel.

It is obvious from my previous works that when it came to portraits, I was more inclined to graphics than painting, however this is about to change. I recently started using more colors and clearly prefer painting to graphics, so you will see more paintings from me in the future.

Which one do you like best?

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Selfportraits

Although every work is a selfportrait (including portraits of others), as many other artists do, I had times when I drew/painted/glued together images of myself, in an attempt to capture certain moments, feelings or just stages of my artistic development.

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This is my very first recognizable selfportrait (with graphite powder in isopropyl alcohol) done when I was about 18. I had short hair, only wore black clothes and was crazy about rock music (still am). The cross I am wearing in this portrait was one of my favorites (carved from a solid block of steel).

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This minimal portrait is one of my favorites, reminding me of happy times, at the age of 19. It’s made with oil paints on a small sheet of plastic (from a large add sheet actually).

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I made this one as a ‘mosaic’ experiment in my first year in Art Uni (2013) in an attempt to go back to happy and careless times. The technique was highly appreciated and I was lucky to have so many great people around me, who helped me with numerous old keyboards. About 1700 keys were seriously ‘harmed’ in the process.

This work has already been featured in three exhibitions, making me really proud.

Now that I have them all in one place, I realize there’s no color involved, I guess I was too focused on capturing the feeling, on freezing a moment rather than doing something really ‘artistic’.

More to follow, I am sure, since my works are becoming more and more personal.

 

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Fresh from the easel

This is the latest piece finished, fresh from the easel. It’s hard to find a suitable name for this one, “Portrait” could not cover it… still thinking…

This precise portrait has been in my head for more than one year, I guess I was waiting for the perfect technique idea to come… I had this type of pose for a portrait in mind even for a longer time, I remember having done some sketches about ten years ago. It’s amazing how old ideas come back hunting me.

On another hand, I’ve also been wanting for quite some time to paint a portrait using raw colours, high contrasts, almost like a burnt film. And I must say, I was never fond of strong colors, nor in art or clothes or anything else.

These ideas, desires in painting, initially independent, finally came together and got tangled in this piece, which I am quite pleased in. On a deeper level, the warm and cold colors, the violent contrasts, the pose, the ’empty’ space ahead… it all fits!

Now for some technical stuff – oil paints on canvas – 50*80 cm. Of course the colors are quite distorted (middle-of-the-night, phone-photo kind of distortion) I will most probably replace the image with a shot taken in natural light.

Enjoy! 😉 Any feedback is highly appreciated!

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