In my darkest hours

If there is one good thing I learnt in therapy, that is how to express my darkest thoughts through my works and not let disappointment, furry, frustration (and others) turn me into a nuke.

I was tested today… as soon as arrived in the university studio, my laptop and projector somehow fell off the table and the gates of hell opened wide (the laptop is more affected). I tried to calm down, but I was so irritated, I could not even stand hearing my colleagues.

The still life we had to draw a study from did not appeal to me however, so I just stared blankly at my board for a while. At some point I realized my own body cast two shadows on the board and started doodling inside the shapes. I was soon disconnected from my dark, dark thoughts and even became satisfied with the final result.

Art is therapy! This is a self-portrait, by the way!

The most important lesson for me is that I realized I could (and each of us can) express negative emotions in a peaceful, harmless way. If you can find that something that takes over your mind and acts like a filter to everything you do, stick to it!

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Selfportraits

Although every work is a selfportrait (including portraits of others), as many other artists do, I had times when I drew/painted/glued together images of myself, in an attempt to capture certain moments, feelings or just stages of my artistic development.

Selfportrait - 01

This is my very first recognizable selfportrait (with graphite powder in isopropyl alcohol) done when I was about 18. I had short hair, only wore black clothes and was crazy about rock music (still am). The cross I am wearing in this portrait was one of my favorites (carved from a solid block of steel).

Logo

This minimal portrait is one of my favorites, reminding me of happy times, at the age of 19. It’s made with oil paints on a small sheet of plastic (from a large add sheet actually).

04

I made this one as a ‘mosaic’ experiment in my first year in Art Uni (2013) in an attempt to go back to happy and careless times. The technique was highly appreciated and I was lucky to have so many great people around me, who helped me with numerous old keyboards. About 1700 keys were seriously ‘harmed’ in the process.

This work has already been featured in three exhibitions, making me really proud.

Now that I have them all in one place, I realize there’s no color involved, I guess I was too focused on capturing the feeling, on freezing a moment rather than doing something really ‘artistic’.

More to follow, I am sure, since my works are becoming more and more personal.

 

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